Can you imagine how freeing your life would be if you could release yourself from expectations? I know for me when I experience the most stress it is usually when I fail to meet expectations that I have set for myself.
When I have something planned that I cannot get done because of an interruption, I have had to learn how to adjust (and sometimes lower) my expectations as not to set myself up for failure.
Similarly, with relationships with others, you can save yourself so much heartache if you just love and appreciate them for who they are. If you put others on a pedestal, you will find yourself constantly disappointed and frustrated when they do not measure up to the impossible expectations you have set.
So how do we release these expectations? Isn’t part of having a goal having expectations?
If we can learn to disconnect ourselves from expectations we can be so much more present and enjoying of the journey.
As a mom of two young children, I have had to do a lot of adjusting of my expectations. Sometimes I feel that there are simply not enough hours in the day and if I just hurry and go from task to task I miss so many beautiful moments with my children. It’s so important to be able to stop and treasure the small moments in the day. That is what makes for a special life.
If I believe that my day was either a success or a failure based on how much I get done, I am missing so much joy by not being in the present moment. Plus, there is always more to do so please don’t let your self worth be based on how much of your To Do list was checked off.
Instead, ask yourself, did I experience joy today? Did I take a moment to appreciate all the blessings in my life? Did I spend a few moments to connect quietly with God/Source/Universe?
Let each thing you check off your to do list or each achievement be seen as a blessing. For example, I have four horses I ride about four times per week. If I go to the barn expecting to have four productive rides, then I will experience frustration when my baby needs me and I cannot finish my rides. If I instead shift my perspective to one of gratitude- I can be grateful for each ride I have and if I get interrupted, I can rest easy knowing that tomorrow is another day.
Worry is also a feeling connected to expectations. We worry that we may not get that promotion at work, or we may worry about our children or about money. The wise Dalai Lama says, “If a problem is fixable, if a situation is such that you can do something about it, then there is no need to worry. If it's not fixable, then there is no help in worrying. There is no benefit in worrying whatsoever.” And one of my favorites by Thomas Jefferson, “How much pain have cost us the evils that have never happened.”
Say you enter a horse show. If you say that your goal to get a certain score or placing you’re already setting yourself up for disappointment because these are factors that you cannot always control. Do not set expectations that are reliant on something outside of yourself- instead simply enjoy the process, be present in the journey and you’ll find such a higher level of happiness. If you sign up for that show and you have it in your mind that your goal is to simply do the best that you can, you are now setting yourself up for success.
Don’t tie your self worth to what you accomplish. You are enough as you are- a beautiful being of divine potential!
I invite you to Awaken to the Truth of your Divine nature. You are love, you are loved and you are always enough.
This blog will be all about personal growth. I will discuss different topics and issues, some relating to horses and some not. Feel free to comment!