Last week I wrote a little about the importance of having faith in yourself in order to achieve your goals. However, I realize this is not so simple for some of us as our core beliefs dictate that we are not good enough or unworthy (of love, happiness, success, etc...). Today I will give you some tools you can use to move through these feelings.
“Man often becomes what he believes himself to be. If I keep on saying to myself that I cannot do a certain thing, it is possible that I may end by really becoming incapable of doing it. On the contrary, if I have the belief that I can do it, I shall surely acquire the capacity to do it even if I may not have it at the beginning.” ~ Mahatma Gandhi
Truer words have never been said. Your beliefs create a self fulfilling prophecy in your experience. However, your beliefs are often untrue. I can tell you right now that every single person is worthy of love, compassion and belonging but it doesn’t matter what anybody says if you believe in your core that you are not worthy. Until you experience universal love and abundance, it can be hard to believe that it is there for you.
We create our thoughts and our thoughts create our reality so it is in the clearing out of thoughts that do not serve us that we can begin to heal and grow. The first step is to not identify with your thoughts. Observe them but do not identify with them. If you constantly reaffirm the belief that bad things always happen to you and that life is unfair, you will continue to create that experience in your life.
On the other hand, if you can begin to shift your beliefs into one of endless abundance and love, you will start to see that experience come into your life.
I have a few tools you can use to begin to really believe in, trust and love yourself.
#1- KEEP PROMISES TO YOURSELF. If you say you are going to workout in the morning, do it. If you set a goal of competing in a horse show at the end of the month, don’t flake out just because you are afraid you will fail. Push yourself, trust your intuition and value the promises you make to yourself. Write those promises down and value them as a contract with yourself.
#2- FORGIVE. Forgive yourself for not being perfect or not being where you thought you would be when you set out on your journey. Trust in the process and look back to see how far you have come and continue to push forward. At the end of each day, write down what you have learned about yourself through the day’s experiences. Forgiving yourself is the first step towards self acceptance. Self acceptance leads to self compassion which is a necessary feeling when we talk about building your best life.
#3- PERSEVERE - Half the battle is just continuing to show up everyday. Even when you feel tired, go to the barn. Groom your horse. Allow him to pull you into the present moment. Dig deep, don’t ever give up. Keep getting out there, work hard and do your best.
#3- AFFIRM YOUR BELIEFS- I am a big fan of affirmations. When in the first stages of finding faith in yourself, you may not want to start with a huge affirmation that your subconscious totally calls BS on. If you’re a beginner rider, it’s probably best not to start with “I am an Olympic Rider”. Perhaps start with “Each day I gain more knowledge and experience and I am becoming the best rider I can be.” Have fun and create your own affirmation that stretches you but is also believable. As you develop more faith in yourself, you will be able to stretch those affirmations to step into greater and greater brilliance!! In the months leading up to my Gold Medal, I would visualize a wonderful test and the feelings of what it would feel like to have that medal. Then I would say, oh so confidently, “I AM a Grand Prix Rider”. At first it was just a saying but over time I really began to believe it.
#4- ALWAYS DO YOUR BEST- This is the final agreement from the awesome book, The Four Agreements. Ask yourself, am I doing the best that I can? If the answer is no, find ways to get re-inspired and back on track with your goals and dreams. Be honest with yourself. If the answer is yes, have confidence in that. Be gentle and kind with yourself especially in areas where you feel you fall short.
#5- COMMUNITY- This really may be the most important one of all. We all need good support and encouragement when we work towards our goals. Sometimes we struggle to find faith in ourselves but if a friend or coach that we trust can see something inside of us that we can’t yet see, we can begin to find it too.
Find a supportive community! For my riding friends, join a local club or GMO (group member organization). Take lessons or board at a barn that has a very supportive and uplifting atmosphere. Volunteer at a local show to meet folks and surround yourself with the type of people who inspire you and treat you with respect! Sadly, there are a lot of people out there with insecurities that project onto other people by tearing them down, criticizing unfairly or gossiping. Ask yourself how each relationship serves you and try only to surround yourself with people that have traits that you aspire to. Motivational speaker, Jim Rohn, says we are the average of the five people we spend the most time with. Choose wisely!
I hope you can use some of these tools in your own life to begin to find faith in yourself so that you may step into the best version of you!
I invite you to Awaken to the Truth of your Divine nature. You are love, you are loved and you are always enough.